College Shouldn’t Be The Best Time Of Your Life

5 Steps For Growth Every College Student Should Consider

A family friend recently asked me if I had any advice for him before he started college next fall.

“Don’t buy the bullshit that this will be the best time of your life.”

“If you believe that,” I said, “You’ll end up dreading graduation. Your life can only go downhill from there, right?”

He looked concerned.

“But our dads have been telling us how much they wished they could be in our shoes again!”

“First of all,” I said, “There is no universal best time in people’s lives.”

My argument went something like this:

1. People are individuals. We tend to be happiest when we feel we’ve met our own expectations for what constitutes a good life.
2. Thus, we’re satisfied when we are content with our individual careers, relationships, hobbies, and lifestyles.
3. Can that happen in college? Sure. Maybe it did for our dads. But I’m more than comfortable with admitting that I didn’t tick all those boxes these last four years.

“Also,” I laughed, “I’m damn sure most of my friends didn’t.”

“1 in 5 college students have anxiety or depression. 1 in 10 have considered suicide.”

“1/10.”

“If college was a paradise, the stats sure don’t show it.”

My friend still wasn’t convinced. “Dude,” he said, “they’re pretty adamant that adulthood sucks. College is just more fun. There’s less responsibility. And tons of girls.”

“Sure,” I said. “But why does that mean your future has to suck?”

Our dads were standing around the corner so I leaned in and lowered my voice.

“Honestly, I just think they say that because they left an exciting party-town for careers they just sorta stumbled into. They didn’t plan on how to create an authentic life for themselves while they were in college. They just partied, got some safe entry-level jobs, married, bought the house, and had 2.5 kids when everyone else did.”

This seemed to touch a nerve.

“Ok,” he said, “But that’s normal, right? What the hell am I supposed to do differently?”

“It’s simple,” I said. “You need to have a growth mindset.” “I’m still working on this myself, man, but you have to be hungry to improve your life after college and build a life you’re excited to live.”

1. Don’t “Trust The Process.” Don’t expect to be set for life just because you earned a degree. Unless you want to be a doctor or lawyer, degrees are no longer the golden ticket to steady and meaningful work. They can, however, be a part of helping you market yourself.
2. Build Shit In The Real World (Don’t Focus Exclusively On Class). I learned this way too late. When I entered college, I had a vague notion of “doing something in business” when I graduated. I expected to cruise by, earn a degree in Econ, and just figure it out as I climbed up whatever full-time job my degree got me. But as soon as I took the advice to start writing online, work remotely with startups, and build a portfolio of creative projects, I realized how little most people cared about my “prestigious” Michigan education. They cared about what I’ve made, who I was, and what I can do to add value for them.
3. Don’t Get Peer Pressured Into A Career: If you’re going to a “good” college, you’ll face overwhelming pressure to enter finance, consulting, engineering, law, or medicine. Most people I know who are entering these don’t actually want to but think they have to in order to become successful/rich. That’s BS. There’s plenty of digital skills one can master to make a good living in 2018 (marketing, copywriting, business development, coding, sales, design). Why work 80+ hours a week for a corporation when you can work freelance or in a startup?
4. Screw FOMO, Do You. Go out when you feel like it. If it's a Saturday night and you’re just looking to wind down with a movie with your housemates or lock yourself in with a good book, do it. Don’t let the few friends you know hitting up the bar down the street effect that.
5. Don’t Enter an FTR Just Because You Want To Feel Less Lonely. College, in my opinion, is a great time to be single and casually date. Being in a real relationship is extremely time consuming and distracts you from learning about yourself and can distance you from your other friends and obligations. Focus on you. If an awesome person comes along, go for it, but if you’re not 100% about them, forget about it.